At the Chelsea Diner, the waiter who was for some reason pretending to be Italian, but was definitely a Spanish speaker, approached the table where I was getting ready to order my favourite meal of Greek salad and French fries and where I was seated with my mom and Aunt Gerry. He immediately started “fake” flirting with Aunt Gerry, or maybe all of us. And I mean fake like he was putting on the flirt charm, but didn’t really mean it – an act. A harmless, sort of sweet, and sort of strange act, but an act nonetheless - a kind of pandering. Aunt Gerry certainly loves flirting, but is not to be pandered to.
First of all she returned and held eye contact.
Then, when he kept it up, becoming overly solicitous, pouring the sugar in her coffee for her, stirring it for her, calling her beautiful, saying he would do anything for her, she flirted right back without hesitation, smiling, charming him to exactly the same volume that he was turned to.
Finally, when he brought us our food, she turned it up.
“Well.” She said, “I think I’ve lost my appetite.”
“What?” he said, surprised
“You’re just so hot, I couldn’t possibly eat with you around,” she volleyed, causing him to blush from under his collar up to his hairline.
He walked away flustered.
Aunt Gerry turned to me and my mom and said “And that, ladies, is how it is done.”
Lesson 13: smile, smile, smile; eye contact; make them blush.